A Place Called Here
by iheartsergeantsmith
Summary: RonnieJack. An insight into of what could have been.. Or what could be *crosses fingers*. Rated T to be safe, fluff and smutt included! Glenda, Roxy and Danni if you want? Let me know!
1. Trust

_AN: Hi everyone! I have completely re-vamped this story, seeing as I wrote it 2 years ago when I had just joined fan fiction and it was oh-so out of character and rubbish lol. Hope it's much better, and will include other pairings if you want as well as my very favourite, Ronnie and Jack! Story is multi-chap, hope you like it! :) Kelly x_

_Rating: Rated 'T' just to be safe_

**Chapter One-**

**Trust**

Slouching in the leather chair that was situated in Jack's office, Ronnie Mitchell leant her elbows lightly on the desk and stared straight ahead at the wall; a cold, white wall that reflected her mood. Across the wall were several post-it notes pressed onto a calendar, a board, a brick; each note like a tiny fragment of memory that was woven into Ronnie's own personal mind-map of technicolour messages and thoughts. Some of the thoughts so ordinary that they would have been shared by the majority of Albert Square's inhabitants; a reminder to pick up the dry-cleaning, a guilty streak that said she hadn't stuck to her new year's resolution. However, some of the thoughts were just disturbing and fresh enough to keep such a pain-stricken woman awake at night. Every so often, her shoulders shook a little as if to cry, but each time she managed to keep the ice-queen facade just about in-tact. Music tinkled softly in the background of the room, a personal favourite, one of her 'slit-your-wrist' tunes, as she had called it.

_Oh love, don't let me go_

_Won't you take me where the street lights glow?_

_I could hear rain coming,I could hear the sirens sound_

_Now my feet won't touch the ground_

A silver chain dangled freely over Ronnie's slim wrist, the locket that was attached to it clasped tightly, protectively even, in her sweaty palm. Her glass, now devoid of vodka, sat precariously on the table- balanced only by her shaking hand. This was her second glass, not of alcohol, but from the bar. Her first glass had been thrown aggressively against the wall -leaving shards of glass scattered over the deep blue carpet- a bottle of Vodka lay on it's side on the edge of the desk, too. She sighed deeply and blew her fringe out of her once-bright blue eyes before rolling them upwards.

Ronnie stayed softly silent for hours and hours. Each minute that passed felt like a second while she was enveloped by her day-dream, if that's what it was. After a while she would wake up and discover that an hour or so had passed. An hour she would never get back. And another. And another.

All of a sudden, it seemed to hit her, and her tough shell shattered. Tiny fragments of mirrored beauty fell to the floor and in seconds she had become the shaking mess she had always despised. Ronnie pulled a knee up and rested her chin on it, wrapping her arms around the leg in the same way a child might clutch their parent's hand in a crowd; desperate, needy. A tear collected in the purple dip of her under-eye shadow, and when she blinked, fell down her wet cheek in what seemed like a hurry.

Forwards and backwards she rocked, steady and slow, almost following the beat of the music yet not quite matching. She was in a daze, tears falling slowly, one by one down her pale cheeks. What do you do? Follow your heart, or your head? _You follow your heart, you fly effortlessly up to the pale blue sky with your baby. Both your babies. You'd all be one happy family; your two girls would love you, you'd love them. Danielle and Amy. My Amy. My baby Amy number two. But to follow your head is the smarter option, you have control.. I always liked to have control. It would be just me down here on planet earth with no baby, no Danielle, nothing._

Immersed in her own little world, Ronnie didn't notice when the door of the office swung open and clicked gently shut again. Jack studied the blonde sitting at the desk, she had one knee drawn up to her chin and maintained the position by pulling her knee towards her with her arms. She was rocking much like a controlled version of a mental patient, he dared to compare. Rhythmically moving ever so slightly backwards and forwards, staring ahead of her with her eyes unfocused, she looked different. Her soft blonde hair fell in untamed waves past her shoulders, and Jack wondered when Ronnie's hair had ever grown so long. When she finally looked up at Jack, he caught sight of the red rims around her once striking blue eyes that now held a fraction of fear along with months of untimely stress and pain.

After studying Ronnie, he allowed his eyes to drift around the untidy room, pausing when he noticed the broken glass and sighing. Ronnie's head jerked upwards as she heard the voice she had missed waking up to months on end. "Ron?"

"I just want to be alone, Jack." She looked up and sighed, her mouth moving to form words, but staying silent. "Please."

Ronnie stood up from the leather chair that she'd been slouched in for the past few hours. She stepped carefully around the desk and sat down gently on the edge of it. She was closer to Jack who looked concerned, he could see that she'd been crying. Her eyes were red and she was breathing heavily, she'd had a lot to drink and was shaking, but that was more to do with nerves.

"Jack," Ronnie began, "it was all my fault."

"What was your fault, Ron?" Jack struggled to understand her meaning and walked closer, resting on the desk too, his deep blue eyes brimming with concern.

Taking the locket from her hand, he prised it carefully open and looked at the tiny photo of a newborn Danielle. Ronnie placed her hand to her stomach and closed her eyes, her fringe falling into her face.

"I couldn't even protect my baby when she was inside of me." she whispered, her head falling to his comforting shoulder, her hand not resisting his warm, larger one. Because, at the end of the day; _I chose to run with my head, and my heart too I suppose. After everything, Jack Branning still holds half the key to that._

_On the radio, I heard  
__Baby, it's a violent world_

* * *

Next chapter brings diddy bit of smut. **:)**


	2. Taking Advantage?

_This chaps for you Astrid :)  
Not quite the same as Huxon smuff, but close enough._

**Chapter 2-**

**Taking advantage?**

_You held my hand  
And walked me home, I know  
Why you gave me the kiss, it was something like this  
That made me go oh, oh_

Jack lay comfortably on the sofa in the back office. Ronnie lay next to him, her head resting on his chest. Her hand was spread at the base of his neck, her thumb brushing his pulse point while she slept. It was here that Ronnie felt safest; Jack had strong arms, big shoulders, a defined chest. He was much more protective than Ronnie would ever be able to become and she knew it. Every few minutes, Jack would lift a sleepy hand and run his fingers lightly through the downy blonde waves that splashed across his chest while picturing the dull, but somehow bright, blue eyes that were obscured by closed lids.

Ronnie had fallen asleep against Jack in the back room at the club, and she awoke a few hours later to see him smiling soft down at her. He had been watching her sleep for a while, not long, but she looked so peaceful that he couldn't stop himself. Ronnie's eyes slowly flickered open, and after a minute she propped herself up on her elbow.

"How long was I asleep?" She yawned, and ran a hand through her messed-up hair.

Jack's lips parted slowly and he swallowed, "Not long, few hours maybe."

"And you?"

"I've just been watching." he murmured, lying back and stroking her arm lazily with his fingertips.

Ronnie leant over, holding herself up by her hands pressed to the fabric of the couch, and her stormy blue eyes took in Jack. There was a few inches between their faces, Ronnie's perfectly plucked eyebrows in parallel with Jack's knotted brow.

"Ron," Jack cleared his throat, his hands to her arms.

"Shht." she touched the tip of her her index finger to his lips, quieting him. For another few moments she seemed to search his eyes, his deep blue-grey irises that were penetrating her mind and seeing the desperation to forget.

Tipping her head to the right sending her soft fringe falling out of the way, Ronnie moved closer. Hesitating for a moment, she wet her lips with her tongue, looking into his eyes for reassurance. She got what she wanted when Jack's hand slid up her spine - his fingers drawing an uneven line up the series of little bones - and came to rest on the back of her neck.

_Don't think that you're charmin'  
The fact that your arm is around my neck  
We'll get you in my pants, I'll have to kick your ass  
You make me never forget_

Their lips touched, each softly caressing the other's. Ronnie took the next step in parting her lips and sucking Jack's lower lip gently between hers, which he reciprocated, slipping his tongue in her mouth and massaging hers.

"Beautiful," he murmured, the word causing a vibration against Ronnie's lips, spreading a delightful, warming tingle through her body and stirring embers deep in her belly that had been left long lost forgotten. A leg either side of Jack, Ronnie allowed him to sit up while she ran her hands up his chest undoing the buttons on his pale shirt. Once his shirt lay discarded on the floor, she ran her hands back down the smooth planes of his toned chest, her fingers tangling in the hair there. When her hands reached the top of his trousers, she looked up; her cheeks were flushed and her eyes sparkled with arousal. One trademark grin from him was all it took.

_Gonna ask you to stop  
Thought I liked you a lot  
But I was really upset_

Ronnie stood up slowly, the office was spinning and she had to sit back down for a minute. She was careful not to wake Jack although he looked like he was in a deep sleep. When her head had calmed down, she got up again, making her way around the office dressing herself. Ronnie walked through to the toilets, splashing her face with water. She held on to the wash-basin with her wet hands and lent forwards, lifting her black heels off the floor, thinking.

"What to do.." Ronnie murmured to herself, she was not sure. She was about to leave the club, it was ten o' clock and she needed to get back to the Vic. She knew that Roxy would be wondering where she was, and that the younger Mitchell sister could get pretty fiery and protective when she wanted to. Ronnie let out a frustrated groan, realizing that she'd left her bag in the office. She walked quickly back to the room and opened the door quietly, not wanting to wake Jack. She couldn't believe what she'd done, she felt so stupid.

Ronnie tip-toed over to the leather chair behind the desk and picked up her black bag from the seat, she started to make her way back out of the room, and was half way to the door when her mobile rang. "Crap!" Ronnie exclaimed quietly, she rummaged through her bag to find her phone but was not quick enough, the ringing had woken up Jack, who opened his eyes and stretched.

"You were just gonna leave without saying goodbye?" he said with a satisfied smile as she turned to face him. He was covered with nothing but a sheet that had been over the back of the sofa, his bare chest was on show, and when he stood he had to resort to grabbing it quickly before it fell to the floor and exposing him in all his glory.

"Don't." Ronnie said sharply. "Don't say it." she grabbed her bag and slammed the door of the office as she ran out of it.

_Get outta my head  
Get off of my bed  
Yeah that's what I said_

I'm the one who, throws it all away  
Did you think that I was gonna give it up to you  
This time

* * *

_What do you all reckon of this, better than before? Does it float your boat? Haha x_


End file.
